People have the impression that I'm totally against Cell Phones. That's not the case at all. I think they are one of the coolest things we have got in the 1990s/2000s. While I was in H.S. in the early 1990s I dreamed of putting a "car phone" in my car and being able to call from my car. I never dreamed it would be even easier since we can now talk wherever there is service without the car. They've been around a long time but only recently have they become common enough that nearly everyone has one. The phone was a great invention because it allows us to keep in contact with people that are far away from us and the Cell Phone just extends that even further. Cell Phones will only get more exciting as they become more like computers and have computer features.

But Cell Phones have also become a big problem in our society in my opinion. It's getting worse and worse. This page will teach you how to not be a typical Cell Phone Asshole!

What's Cool About Cellphones

• (Best Reason) Use the Phone in an Emergency Situation. I've made about 5 calls to 911 on the freeway after some accident.
  
• When you're out and about it's great to use to find directions, or other information such as stocks, internet, maps, mail, etc...
• People can reach you when you're out of the house.
• They can replace the home phone.
• You can make a phone call wherever you are in cool/interesting places like the middle of nowhere when you want to. I used my dad's cell phone to talk to family on the freeway in the middle of nowhere in California, or on the middle of a farm in a field. That's so awesome!
• They have tons of cool built in features like voice mail.

They are a problem in the car! That's why cell phones come with a sheet warning about using it in the car. That's what some cities and states are banning cell phones in the car. I hope someday they're banned in the car everywhere or at least where I live because they cause many accidents and probably deaths too. There are some people who can handle a phone and a car but there are way too many people who can't.

Here is what I demand of you:

Don't take calls in the car unless you have a handsfree setup. Just let the voice mail pick it up or pull your car off the road and answer the phone. There's no reason why you should yak on the phone and drive at the same time.

If you insist on using the phone while driving
At least pull over to the slow lanes. All these jerks get over in the fast lane and talk on the phone driving hella slow.

If the conversation is too distracting call them back later
or pull off the road to deal with it.

Get a Phone with Voice Activiated Dialing
You should never be dialing and driving at the same time.

Don't Abuse Your F-ing Annoying Rings
I have to put up with this at work, and nearly everywhere I go but my apartment. Your stupid ass rings are not cool or funny. People love getting some really gay ring like the standard Nokia ring (Grande something you see on the commercials) OR other stupid ass rings like "take me out to the ball game" If you're stuck around these people they don't change their ring and you have to hear them over and over again to the point that you want to bitch slap them back to Bangkok. What's even more annoying is these assholes purposly don't answer their phone until the song has gone all the way through because they want to force you to listen to it! Arg! There used to be this web site where these guys in a cell phone suit went around grabbing people's cell phones, smashed them (on camera) then ran for it. This is what should happen to these ring abusers.

What you should do: Pick a standard non annoying ring or put it on vibrate/flash mode when at work or when the ring could annoy other people. Have some feelings for other people's feelings. Lame bastards. At least rotate your annoying rings so people don't have to hear the same ones over and over. If you have the Grande Nokia ring you should kill yourself now.

Turn off your Phone/Set to Vibrate Mode
Turn off your phone in places where it's RUDE for a phone to ring. People go out to get away from things like phones and they shouldn't have to hear your stupid ass phone ring. This is especially true at Church, in School and Movies or some other Performances. More and more places are putting up signs and warnings about turning off your cell phones because people find them annoying! People want to get away from phones and your dumb phone is not allowing that. So turn on vibrate mode or let it go onto voice mail until you can answer it.

Asshole Combo: They let their phone ring in an annoying place like the movies/church then DON'T ANSWER IT! What the hell! They let it ring over and over again then suddenly "release" it's ringing. Stupid bastards.

Don't Force People to be included in your Stupid Conversations
This is another major problem. You can't go anywhere now a days without some cell phone jerk including you in their conversation whether you want to or not. You should be able to go to places without being stuck in the middle of someone's lame conversation.

Examples: Video Store (jerks trying to use cell phones to pick out a movie), In Line at the Grocery Store, In Line Anywhere.

The problem is these assholes want to flaunt it in everyone's face that they have a cell phone OR that they have no respect for people around them. I saw this movie/tv show that was making fun of this and they had the person talking about nasty sex or health problems in the middle of a crowd of people causing them to be sick or offended.

What you should do: If you have to make a call try to keep your voice down and don't talk in a booming voice which forces everyone to hear whether they want to or not. You can also try moving to a "private" area where people aren't.

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